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Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Ten Tips For Beating Depression
I heard about a woman who was suffering from depression, so her concerned husband took her to a psychiatrist. The doctor listened to the couple talk about their relationship, and then he said, "The treatment I prescribe is really quite simple." With that, he went over to the man's wife, gathered her up in his arms, and gave her a big kiss. He then stepped back and looked at the woman's glowing face and broad smile. Turning to the woman's husband, he said, "See! That's all she needs to put new life back into her." Expressionless, the husband said, "If you say so, Doc, I can bring her in on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
Okay, that's not how to treat depression, but I have a few other suggestions that make more sense. As a result of trial and error, over the course of thirty years, I've found ten blues battling strategies that often help me. These are not quick fixes, and this list is not exhaustive. It is also not a "must do" list.
When you're depressed, the last thing you need is a list of expectations to live up to. Don't stress about forcing yourself to accomplish all these things. They're not items to be checked off a list each day. The only one that is crucial is number one. After that, you can experiment with the others as you feel able to.
1) Get the Facts and Get Help.
Web sites and books on depression abound. Find them and do some research. You need to know what you're dealing with. Learn all you can about depression, so you can make educated decisions about your own health, learn how others cope, and find what medical treatment is available. Many books have self tests to help you determine whether you are experiencing clinical depression or temporary sadness in reaction to an event. In addition to reading everything you can get your hands on, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is seek medical help right away. Depression is much too complicated for you to solve on your own. Clinical depression is a serious medical condition that is very complicated to treat. Often it is a physical problem that requires long term medication. In my own experience, it's taken years of medication, counseling, and practicing various self help methods to slowly emerge from it, and it's still a daily battle.
Many people suffer needlessly from depression because they won't consult a doctor. If you're waiting for God to heal you, consider this: God gives scientists intelligence, which they often use to create helpful medicines; and He gives doctors wisdom to treat illnesses. Wise doctors and modern medicines are gifts from God and vehicles through which He often heals. Doctors can help you determine whether what you feel is truly depression, or if you are just reacting normally to a sad life situation.
If you've experienced depression, you already know it is not an illness you can "snap out of," no matter what others may tell you. It's not something to be ashamed of either. Depression can be a serious physical illness caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals or other factors. Like any serious medical condition, depression needs to be treated. Without the proper treatment, none of my suggested coping strategies will do any good.
2) Get Focused.
Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness pervade the life of a depressed person. The opposite of depression is a hopeful attitude. Focusing on hope and developing a hopeful heart is a must. It can be accomplished in a couple ways. One way is to search the Bible for the numerous Scriptures that tell how God has helped those who felt hopeless. It's helpful to memorize verses like these: Hebrews 4:15 (For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin.); 2 Corinthians 4:8 & 9 (All-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.); Matthew 6:34 (Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.); Isaiah 41:10 (Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.); and John 14:27 (Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.).
The story of Job and the book of Psalms are the most worn pages in my Bible. While at my lowest, I've read and re-read them more times than I can count. My fridge and the mirrors in my house are covered with sticky notes reminding me of how God intervenes in the lives of His people.
Another way to focus on hope is by practicing positive self talk. This simply means telling yourself good things. I made a list for myself of positive affirmations like "God cares and understands my pain. God values me. God is giving me strength. I am made in God's image. I can choose my attitude. I choose not to put myself down. I'm a worthwhile person. I have a purpose. I enjoy life. I choose to be happy and I am competent." If you struggle with depression, I think you'll find it helpful to write down as many of these affirmations as you can think of and read them every day. Even if they're not currently true or you don't really believe them, it's okay. Say them to yourself anyway. Your mind will come to believe what you tell it, so tell it you are already the type of person you want to become. Be sure to remind yourself often that God is with you and He is pouring his strength on you. "Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance. ...For You are the God of my strength..." (Psalm 42:5 and 43:2 NKJV)
2 Corinthians 4:18 says we need to "fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." Focusing on positive, heavenly things rather than earthly things will keep the feelings of hopelessness at bay.
3) Get Friendly.
Fellowship with other people is a mood lifter. Being alone is the worst thing you can do when you're depressed. Unfortunately, it's usually the very thing I want most. Depression grows best in isolation. I find it very difficult to get out and socialize when I'm depressed, but if I push myself to do it, I'm almost always glad later. Some ideas for socializing include joining a club, taking a class, inviting someone to meet you for lunch, or visiting a nursing home to chat with the residents there. It especially helps me to be with friends who enjoy the same hobbies I do. Shopping, watching movies, and rubber stamping are some of the things I enjoy doing alone, but they're twice as much fun when I do them with friends.
4) Get Giggling.
I collect cartoons and funny newspaper columns. I visit humor web sites online, watch funny movies, and read funny books. Best of all is laughing with friends. One of the reasons I enjoy my grandson so much is because he makes me laugh. I can act goofy with him and let go of my inhibitions. We dance and sing and make up silly rhymes. I have photographs of us wearing funny glasses with big black mustaches. I laugh every time I look at those. Laughing affects brain chemicals. It releases endorphins, which make you feel good. Chocolate does the same thing, but a good laugh is less fattening.
A friend of mine, who had a very frustrating job, told me that one day she was inspired by someone who had a huge, bright smile. She decided to emulate that woman and smile at everyone she encountered. Right away, she realized that smiling was addictive. It seemed to make the time pass more quickly and she found herself less frustrated and more at peace. She told me, "It sounds corny, but it really works!"
Paul wrote, "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4 NKJV) I've heard that a person can act her way into feeling better. Act happy, act glad, and it helps you to feel happy and glad. Paul exhibited this truth in his own life. Acts 16 tells how Paul and Silas were attacked, beaten, locked in stocks, and thrown into solitary confinement. Yet, at midnight, what were they doing? Feeling sorry for themselves? Asking God, "Why?" Moaning and complaining like I do? No, they were singing! Sure they were suffering, but they knew they were children of God. Paul may have even been remembering his personal encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus. (Acts 22:10) They were praising God because they had been rescued from their sins, filled by the Holy Spirit, and added to God's family. No jailer could take that away. That was worth being grateful for, no matter what else happened to them. Even if they were to be killed, it would only send them to heaven. So why should they fear? That's some awesome faith, isn't it?
5) Get Rhythm.
When I feel a case of the gloomies descending, that is not the time to play melancholy music. Positive upbeat tunes are in order -- the sort of music you might hear at a parade or a circus. Music gets your toes tapping and your blood flowing. It makes you want to sing. Singing and dancing sends a message to your brain that you're happy. Your brain is an actualizer. Whatever it "thinks" is true, it works to bring about. This is why positive thinking works. You tell yourself, "I'm happy" often enough and your brain accepts it as fact. It actualizes that truth, making it happen. I've found that when depression takes hold of me, I tend to ruminate on negative thoughts. Listening to good, Christian music with positive lyrics helps to pour good things into my brain and crowd those negative things out. There's a list of good things to ponder in the fourth chapter of Paul's letter to the Philippian church. It says to think about whatever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, noble, right, or admirable. Philippians 4:8 says, "If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." Christian music helps me accomplish this.
6) Get Busy
We all need to feel like we're involved in something significant. We need to participate in something outside ourselves. You might consider volunteering at a local women's shelter or food pantry. I've enjoyed both and discovered that when I stay busy helping others and concentrating on their problems, I get a break from focusing on my own troubles. This is how HUGS and HOPE began. It started with a small effort to make a difference for one family and it grew. I've learned that joy boomerangs. When you give it away, it comes back to you. Helping others gives you the heart-warming satisfaction of knowing you are making a difference in the world. That will elevate your mood as well as your self esteem.
7) Get Physical
This is two-fold. Physical exercise is good for us, but physical contact is equally important. Our bodies need to move to be healthy, and going for a walk is the easiest exercise for me to do when I'm depressed. It doesn't require as much energy and motivation as other activities. Breathing the fresh air and looking at the beauty of nature can be helpful, and taking my dog along is even better. Just watching his ears flop as he bounces down the road in front of me often brings a smile to my face.
Exercise affects brain chemicals, and the healing touch of physical closeness does too. If you're depressed, hug somebody - anybody, everybody! A hug is good medicine. It reduces stress and tension and it boosts your immunity to illness. Hugs raise self esteem and lower blood pressure. They feel good and make people happy. And they're free! Hugs are the universal language that communicates love and acceptance. They're healthy for the "hugger" as well as the "hugee."
8) Get Quiet
I need to lean heavily on God's word and spend time with Him. When I pray, I talk things over with God. When I read the Bible and meditate on it, I hear Him speak to me and I contemplate what He says. I've found this to be one of the best anti-depressants there is. However, I need to add a word of caution here. Too much solitude can worsen depression. Isolating yourself and avoiding people can make depression grow. Don't use meditation time as an excuse to avoid human contact. Time with God is of the utmost importance, but balance between quiet time alone and time spent with others is essential.
9) Get Forgiveness - And Give it Too!
I've read that many psychiatrists agree that depression is guilt or anger turned inward. David is an example of someone whose guilt led to depression. After committing adultery, he wrote, "When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer." (Psalm 32:3-4)
Sin makes you feel bad, but when you receive God's forgiveness, your guilt is removed; and often depression is removed too.
Depression can sometimes be caused from the need to forgive someone else or yourself (whomever is making you angry). Grudges cause feelings of frustration, which aggravate the hopeless feelings of depression. When we forgive, we let go of past hurts and give up bitterness. Then depression has no negativity on which to feed. If you free yourself from feelings of hate and open yourself up to feelings of love, you may feel as if the depression is physically lifting off your shoulders.
My friend Nance went through a difficult divorce, which left her bitter about the past, anxious about the future, and miserable in general. She harbored a lot of grudges and guilt, and she worried constantly. She felt the need to control everything in her life, yet she knew she couldn't. After attending a women's retreat, Nance realized what her negativity was doing to her.She released her worries, fears, anger, and resentments at the foot of the cross. Then she felt a renewal in her heart. She was happy and at peace.
When she was dying, Nance told me that the most difficult thing she'd ever had to do was forgive - both her ex-husband and herself -- for past mistakes. She said forgiving was even harder than dying!
Forgiveness isn't a simple one time event. It's a process that often takes time (sometimes years), but it's an important step to healing.
Jesus taught forgiveness when he said we'd be forgiven in the same way we forgive others, and when he told Peter we should forgive, not seven times, but seventy times seven. Of course, Jesus also lived forgiveness. While hanging on the cross, he looked at his torturers and said, "Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34)
10) Get Thankful.
When I'm depressed, I need to make a conscious effort to count my blessings. An attitude of hopelessness and discontent has a hard time competing with an attitude of gratitude. 1 Thessalonians 5:28 says, "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." It's important to remember that depression is not fatal and it doesn't last forever. You WILL survive! Remind yourself that this cloud of despair will pass eventually. It may seem like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but trust that there is; and be thankful for that, as you wait for the light to appear.
So, while kisses from your husband (or a psychiatrist) may be great, they can't cure depression. But along with medication and the proper treatment, now you have some practical steps you can take for your own well being. There are times when one of these strategies may be more helpful than the rest. Other times, it may seem that none of them makes a huge difference. But I keep practicing all of them anyway, because I know they are steps toward a healthier lifestyle. Following them on a regular basis may not eliminate depression forever, but they help me to minimize their severity.
These tips can be helpful for people who are not depressed too. They can be useful for anyone who is a little discouraged, a little blue, or needs to refocus on more positive things in life.
I hope that by trying these ideas you may find yourself on the way to experiencing more joy.
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Monday, December 19, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Become A Habitual Peak Performer - Learn How To Get Into Flow Or - The Zone More Frequently
This Is NOT An Expert Paper On Getting Into "Flow"
This is not a technical article on the psychology of sports and how the brain functions when a person is engaged in competition. I am not a zone coach or psychologist, neither do I pretend to have conducted any experiments or studies on people who have exhibited the traits of persons who could be said to have been in "flow" at any point in time.
What I aim to do in this article is to share my considerable experience in delivering exceptional performances in virtually every area of endeavour I have chosen to apply diligent and committed effort. Most of my achievements have been made possible by my self-taught ability to almost willfully get myself into "Flow"(an unconscious state of mind that facilitates seemingly effortless achievement of optimal learning and/or performance) whenever I felt the need to do so, in order to achieve a set goal(s).
Because I have experienced what it feels like to get into "Flow" or "The Zone" on many occasions(and I provide graphic details of some of those instances in this article), I am able to share THAT experience with the reader, and explain how s/he can achieve the same result, frequently and repeatedly, if s/he so desires.
As I have stated earlier, I make no claims to being an authority on getting into "Flow" or "The Zone". However going by my personal experiences(which I need NO PhD degree qualifications to write or speak about), I strongly believe different individuals will find need to develop different levels of proficiency in their ability to get into AND STAY - for as long as may be necessary/desired - in "The Zone". Improvement in mastery of this skill will depend on how well each person applies him/herself.
The challenge is therefore for you to use the ideas offered in this write up to build up YOUR OWN ability to get into - and stay in - "The Zone" in a way that enables you meet YOUR needs to achieve.
What Exactly Does It Mean To Get Into "Flow" Or "The Zone"?(My Handball Semi-Final Match Case Study)
Before I make references to what others have said, I will describe this experience in my own words by narrating what happened to me during the 1992 finals of the University Of Ibadan's Inter-Halls Handball Competition. That year, I was captain of both the university team and the Independence Hall team. The latter had qualified - for the first time in their history - for the semi-finals of the inter-halls competition, and we were up against Nnamdi Azikiwe Hall, our arch rivals.
The match commenced around 1.00pm when the sun was overhead and the heat was scorching. It was a very intense and closely fought battle. As one side scored a goal the other side replied almost immediately on the next attack. At half time my team led, by a single point. Although I had scored a number of goals en route to the finals, that first half had not witnessed a single goal by me.
However, because we had anticipated that some of our key players would be marked out by the opposition, our team had worked out an alternative plan that made it possible to create scoring chances for other players. This worked well, and we stayed ahead - but only just!
At a point, all I could think of was the single point lead on the score board and the voice in my head screaming that we needed to score another goal to avoid a tie. Each time I turned to receive or make a pass, I found I did not really see faces clearly. I saw the jersey colors and numbers, but the detailed features of each person seemed to be something of a blur...faded. Yet I could still tell my team mates from the opposition at any point in time.
Suddenly, for no obvious reason, the guy marking me out let me get COMPLETELY past him(for the first time since the match began) as a pass came to me from the left. In that split second, as I caught the ball, I saw a little space between the left foot of the goal keeper and the bottom left of the goal post. On reflex, I threw a hip shot with my right hand, and watched almost as if on TV, the ball fly into into the keeper's far left corner of the goal post. All this while I had stopped hearing most of the noise from the spectators who had completely surrounded the handball court and were cheering wildly.
Then I felt someone grab me, screaming delightedly, while another team mate patted me on the back. I looked to the sidelines and saw the University team coach - Mr. Nwosu - raise his hands in the air shouting 'Iyo"(a slang in my language Yoruba, meaning "Super!" even though - ironically - he was Ibo). That was when it clicked - at least enough for me to manage to raise my right hand in the air and jog back to the nine metre line of my team's half. I realised I had scored a good goal, but I could not explain how - it had been done on instinct, and I could not even recall "thinking about doing" or "planning" it.
Not long after, the referee blew the final whistle, and we won. That year, someone using the pen name "Dancing Pen" wrote an article on me (which I still have a copy of in my files) which was pasted on the notice board in the hall titled "Tayo Solagbade - Steroid Man"*, in which the writer described the goal I scored as (to use his exact words): "the Fastest, Most Spectacular and Shocking Goal". He also quoted the University coach as having said "Indy (i.e. Independence Hall), played the match of their lives, and Tayo was at his best".
*("Steroid Man" was a nickname given to me by colleagues in the University team, because I never seemed to get tired in a match, even when we were losing badly).
How Does This Relate To Getting Into Flow/The Zone?
Well the truth is every time I got on to the handball court, I made a point of forgetting EVERYTHING else. For those who took note, minutes to the start of the match, I would become a bit pensive, and withdrawn. During this period, I tended to re-run in my mind specific moves I had practiced during the training sessions leading up to the match, which I hoped to use. Even as I exchanged greetings with other players, I would keep my mind firmly fixed on this mental pre-match "ritual".
Evidence that my achievements were recognised would come at the end of my final year in the University when I received merit awards from the university Sports Council and the Independence hall - in addition to graduating top of my class in my department. Not many active sports persons in the institution got to have the best of both worlds the way I did - and THAT was what caught the attention of the institution's sports administrators. Looking back I realise that my "intense focus" enabled me get into "flow"(though I did not know the word/concept then) quite frequently while pursuing both my academic and sporting interests on campus, so that I achieve the "balanced" success I eventually recorded.
Peak Performing As An Entrepreneur
Today, I build spreadsheet software and websites(among others) for a living - activities which require PC/Internet access AND electricity. Unfortunately, in order to make tangible profits, I have to DAILY explore ways to COST-EFFECTIVELY progress paying clients' projects IN SPITE OF extremely erratic power supply from my country's power generation company. Sometimes I do not have light for more than four(4) hours in a day - and even that iS often a case of ON...then OFF...then ON again, and not a continuous stretch.(FACT)
Despite these challenges, my client profiles have risen, and my fees quadrupled since the start of the new year! This has happened because I successfully transferred my ability to "peak-perform" by getting into flow, from my past life in school, sports, and paid employment into my present life as an entrepreneur. It did not happen overnight(took quite some practice/persistence because I had to LEARN all over again till I began to master my NEW vocation), but then nothing that has sustainable value ever does.
Getting Into "Flow/The Zone" Is NOT About Being(Or Becoming) Absent Minded!
In the process of pushing myself to achieve peak performance, I sometimes found myself being accused - especially by those I lived with(my wife being number one) of being absent minded - or even uncaring. Over time they however came to discover that it was not deliberate.
Being in "flow" is about getting into a state of mind that enhances your ability to perform at your best...your peak. Not everyone knows - or cares to call it - "flow" or "The Zone". But many who have seen someone under its influence (or experienced it) often mention the same "signs" when describing it. I once read that William H. Carrier(inventor of the Air Conditioner) was said to have been "absent minded" to the point that he once boarded a train and completely forgot his destination, while thinking about a solution to a problem! THAT is the "intensity" of focus or concentration on a SPECIFIC activity that can get ANYONE into "flow". No wonder James Cook referred to Carrier as belonging to the elite group of "Super Entrepreneurs".
Thomas Edison was also reputed to have been rather "forgetful". What I think many "critics" of these people failed to note however is the fact that these men - and others like them - were seldom, if at all EVER forgetful about their favoured vocations or interests! I am not aware for instance that Edison at any point in his life was unable to answer questions posed to him regarding his work because he "forgot". Instead it was the daily routine stuff that had little to do with the work he had a passion for, that he "chose to forget".
Many achievement-oriented people who feel the need to be at their productive best even do something that I like to call "Deliberate Forgetting". In fact I recall reading about a teenage girl who became an excellent violinist saying that she achieved her proficiency through what she called 'Planned Neglect". She explained this term by saying that each day she would put off cleaning her room (or other chores) UNTIL she had put in what she considered ENOUGH practice into playing the violin.
Before adopting this approach she had been unable to find enough time/energy to practice, and as a result was not making the progress she wanted. This happened because she often started each day doing her various chores, using up a lot of energy/time. By the time she eventually began practice there would not be much time left - and she would tire easily from all the previous exertion. So she decided some things had to enjoy less of her attention in order for her to FOCUS on those things or THAT ONE thing she most desired to do - and do WELL.
Getting Into "Flow" During Intellectual Activity Results In "Mental Ecstasy"
When you get into flow while doing something intellectual(e.g. writing), from my experience what you feel is what I believe can be called "Mental Ecstasy". You would feel "great pleasure" every time you are able to achieve that state of mind - even though the activity you are engaged in might require great effort or skill that would task other persons to the limits of their abilities! And that's why it can get a bit addictive, leading to a person acting seemingly "uncaring" or "distant".
To a considerable extent, getting into and STAYING in "Flow" requires that your mental attitude be almost the exact opposite of that required to be a caring, thoughtful and responsive partner to a mate or parent to a child etc. In my opinion however if a person can take the pains to learn how to control the process of deliberately going in and out of flow, s/he would live a more successful life.
You need to be able to strike a balance - delicate it might be, between being in flow and being human. Else what could happen is you end your sojourn on earth as having been one of the most exceptional performers in your chosen vocation in the history of mankind, but with the reputation of having been incapable of keeping a relationship or family together.
Daniel Goleman in his book on "Emotional Intelligence" explained that improving your ability to enter into flow is to become more emotionally intelligent. According to him getting into flow is the ultimate means of making use of one's emotions in the pursuit of performance and learning. To put it simply, a person who KNOWS how to get him or herself into "Flow" or "The Zone" deliberately and repeatedly as the need arises demonstrates a high level of Emotional Intelligence. This is because being able to do so requires a level of self-mastery that is seldom achievable without the ability to harness one's emotions effectively.
As is common knowledge today, your Emotional Intelligence and NOT your academic intelligence is MORE likely to determine your success in school and especially your adult life. Therefore to increase your chances of succeeding in life, you will want to learn how to get into "flow" more frequently, so as to boost your Emotional Intelligence.
Steps You Can Follow To Get Yourself Into Flow/The Zone Deliberately & More Frequently
1. Carefully think about and set SPECIFIC goals you want to achieve(in SPECIFIC areas of your vocation or interest) by getting into "Flow".
2. Identify the TASKS you will need to execute or implement in order to achieve those goals.
3. Develop your proficiency in the task(s) you wish to achieve peak performance in to the point that you can do it(or them) with practiced ease. Some people would say "with your eyes closed". I have watched labelling machine operators on a manned 45,000 bottles per hour bottling line feed labels into it almost without error continuously for over six(6) consecutive hours on a night shift. It takes plenty of PRACTICE to get to that level of competence.
And it is only after you have attained such a level of proficiency that you can reasonably expect to be able to deliberately/competently get in and out of "Flow", while engaged in your preferred activity.
4. Actively work to find and/or create the kind of environment(physical and psychological) that you KNOW will enhance your ability to get into and STAY in The Zone. For instance, you will need to master the art of focussing intensely or concentrating HARD on your subject of interest such that you "force" yourself into "The Zone". I often use this approach (especially) when I need to give a speech.
5*. Avoid the things/habits that keep you from getting into The Zone(e.g. undisciplined expenditure of sexual energy; worrying etc) and do more of those which boost your ability to "Zone Out"(e.g. staying fit through regular physical exercise, meditation etc).*
6. Engage as much as possible ONLY in tasks or vocations that you naturally ENJOY doing - else getting into flow and/or staying there will be VERY difficult. Your performance as a result will be erratic.
Knowing How To Get Into The Zone Will Help You Deliver Desired Results Under Pressure
As you may be aware, some people thrive under, and respond positively TO pressure - often delivering their BEST performances when exposed to it. I happen to be one of such people. It is my considered opinion, based on my personal experiences and successes in school, sports, paid and now self-employment, that if you truly want to be a peak performer, you MUST master how to deliver optimal performances in your preferred vocation or activity EVEN when(especially when!) you are under pressure.
Fail to do this and your transformation will be INCOMPLETE. You would be like a potential Michael Jordan who fails to achieve his/her full potential on the court during game time. What's that you ask? I mean everyone loved Jordan because he was a player who delivered when it mattered most(a "big match" player) - in the important games and at the MOST important time...scoring a match winning basket just a few seconds before the buzzer sounded. It takes an ability to DEAL with psychological pressure to do that. You CAN develop the ability to do it. If you learn how to get into "flow", as suggested here, you WILL end up with the ability to do it unconsciously - AGAIN and AGAIN!(The key word there being "UNCONSCIOUSLY")
Final Words: A Person In Flow/The Zone Will Make Doing What S/he Does Look Easier Than It Really Is
And THAT is something YOU can use as a measure of how well you have learnt to get into and STAY in the zone while doing what you do i.e when people start expressing surprise or even amazement about how well you do what you do, with some asking you "what is your secret?".
Another way to measure your progress, will be unsolicited testimonials people will give about your abilities. Below, I offer two examples of unsolicited written testimonials about me from former colleagues:
"Tayo, I honestly believe you are one of those who will succeed at anything he does... I don't need to wish you good luck. You have the ability to make your own luck..".
Read my article titled "Should You Quit Your Job Or Start Your Business Part-Time?" to read the full text of that handwritten message to me in December 2001 by the overall head(Operations Manager) of the brewery I worked in.
I once helped out a Utilities Manager colleague by automating his Engineering Services usage monitoring charts preparation using my skills in spreadsheet programming. This was done in respone to his request, after he saw what I had done in my spare time for my department. Well, here's what he wrote (in part) to me via email from the new company - a multinational Oil Service company - he had resumed working for, some months after my departure:
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To:olufelatks@xxxxxx.com
Subject:WANT US TO MEET
Date:Wed, 26 Jun 2002 09:59:16 +0100
Hi Tayo,...my main reasons for my search for you are... to involve you in my new task of computerizing my departmental reports....I believe you have the competence to transform our reports having seen your Midas touches in Guinness. The report will be in Excel spreadsheet, segmented into sheets but to be viewed and accessed by macro buttons. The report should be able to auto print and shows graphs. Presently, we have two mains Computerized Maintenance Systems from which some data need to be downloaded. The report must be able to give quick predetermined checks for immediate management decisions. In pursuit of this goal, I want us to discuss and agree on the execution modalities and other things. I am proposing to be in Lagos this weekend and wish to see you...Shola"
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What made him so sure that I could help him? The answer is obvious: I had shown that I could deliver the kind of results he wanted in the past and he had witnessed it.
Learn how to deliver peak performances routinely and repeatedly by getting into flow often, and you WILL earn similar testimonials from others around you.
Useful References
1. Article: "Curse of the Succubus" by Andrew Corsello. A humour tinged but seriously educative article about a one time Tennis world No. 1 - Pete Sampras - who KNEW how to deliver peak performances by getting into and STAYING in The Zone. It was written in "GQ Magazine October 2002 - IN THE ZONE" and subtitled >>Why has Pete Sampras fallen so fast, so hard, so...willingly? Clearly the man who perfected the Zone has lost his formidable powers...2. Book: "Emotional Intelligence" by Dr. Daniel Goldman. In this excellent ground breaking book subtitled "Why It(i.e. "Emotional Intelligence") can matter more than IQ", Goleman explains, with useful anecdotes about(and testimonials from) real-life high performing individuals, backed by research findings, why the ability to get into flow in the pursuit of learning and performance is Emotional Intelligence at its best.
3. Resource: "The Internet" by Any Search Engine. I must NOT forget this one :-). Do a search on the net and you should discover additional/useful learning resources.
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Saturday, December 10, 2011
4. Vermont Long Trail - Southern Vermont C..wmv
Writing in my trail journal is something that I do constantly when I'm out on the trail. It's a crucial part of my trail experience and on the Vermont Long Trail, it was no different. I woke up that morning with a cold brewing, though, and in following sections, you'll see it clearly develope. The view from Stratton Mountain Fire Tower was just incredible. You could see so many of the mountains of southern Vermont. Mount Snow was just to the south and Killington was in sight to the north. The weather was still beautiful and my spirits, still high. We end this section with a beautiful fluttering butterfly.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
Spotting the Signs of Infidelity
At one point, everyone may experience that sick, stomach churning feeling, alerting them that something in their relationship is wrong. They may dismiss it as an overactive imagination, paranoia or a case of bad Chinese take out from the night before. However, when they notice that those uncertain feelings linger for weeks and maybe even months, they realize that it is not a situation that can be ignored. Your emotions are the one real friend you can always count on to tell you the truth, no matter how much it hurts. Whether it's intuition sending you a telegram that trouble is brewing in romantic paradise or simply an acute subconscious connection to the vibrations in your environment, those signs of infidelity need to be listened to and investigated.
For the seeker of truth behind the suspicious behavior and actions of their partners, I've composed a guide to spotting infidelity to give you a starting point in your PI work.
1. Unaccounted for Spending Receipts
If a person has taken on a new lover, they will have to spend money to take them out to restaurants, hotels, trips, and buy them gifts. So, keep an eye on expenses through a credit card paper trail that do not have a reasonable explanation. Some cheating partners may choose the cash route and withdraw funds from local or out of town ATMs to finance their indiscretions.
2. Changes in Appearance
Study any changes in wanting to suddenly improve their physical looks. Cheating spouses or significant others often want to look better for their lover and will start buying new clothing, working out, wearing makeup, getting a new hairstyle, or start wearing new perfume or cologne.
3. Internet Communication
Often, if a spouse or boy/girlfriend met their lover online, they'll correspond via Instant Message or email. So, a review of their chats will reveal if it is a simple flirtation or if it has gone further. Also, check out some of the popular online dating sites, such as Yahoo! Personals, Match.com, eHarmony, MySpace etc for their picture and profile, especially if that was how you first met. Sometimes, they never take their profile down and continue meeting new people using the same member id. So, keep an eye on old profiles that for some reason never got taken down or deleted.
A great site called truedater.com is a great resource for online daters who share stories and resources on people they've met online. It's basically a website created to dish on whether the people are being truthful in their dating profiles. Another popular website that's recently been all over the news is DontDateHimGirl.com You may actually find a story about your significant other posted there, telling you about their past history with dating on the web, encounter a recent post detailing an indiscretion or even a warning about the type of person you may be about to get involved with or are currently with.
If they are all of a sudden deleting their emails before you can read them or changing their password, that can also tip you off that there is something going on that they do not want you to find out about.
4. Becoming a Workaholic
A person who is cheating will often use work as an excuse to meet with their lover. You'll notice they work later than usual, take frequent work related trips or if they are a commuter, will give you an excuse that a new job project has crazy hours which leads them to sleeping overnight in the city. Another clue may be their disappearance during lunch hours where even their coworkers or secretary may not know how or where to reach them.
5. Decrease in Sex Drive
This is one of the first tell tale signs that a partner may be cheating because they will want less and less sex from you, since they are getting it from their lover.
6. Changes in Sex Style
On the flip side of that, you may experience your partner suddenly trying out new positions or techniques in bed that most probably were taught to them by their new lover. If you do suspect cheating, please protect yourself by using a condom or getting tested because s/he could be bringing in sexually transmitted diseases from the affair.
7. Telephone Clues
Watch for strange hang ups that start to occur more often when the unknown caller hears your voice. It may be the lover trying to get in touch with your spouse or live in partner. Also, check for unknown numbers on the cellphone and home phone records that are becoming more and more frequent. Another clue is your partner not returning your phone calls within a short period of time. In the past, s/he always got back to you within the hour but lately, s/he cannot be reached by phone for many hours. If you are not living together, they may even start returning your calls the next day, instead of later that same day or night. You may even notice that when you are together, they turn off their cellphones or turn their answering machine volumes to low or mute so you don't hear the lover calling or leaving them a message.
8. Personality Changes
S/he suddenly becomes distant and is not as affectionate as they used to be. The compliments become scarce, they find fault in your actions or behavior and the efforts to be emotionally supportive are not as forth coming as they used to be. Communication has diminished and you start to feel neglected and alone even when s/he is in the same room. You may also experience an increase in arguments and heated fighting as their stress level goes up trying to live the double life. Even catching them in lies, excuses and defensive behavior may become prevalent as time goes on. It is difficult for many cheaters to keep the charade going forever.
9. Shower Frequency
You notice s/he showers the moment they get home. This may be a sign that they are trying to remove the traces of scent of another lover from their body so you don't suspect what they were doing.
10. Laundry
If they are cheating, you may notice them doing their own laundry and getting nervous when you offer to do it for them. The reason may be so that they can remove any scents of the lover, sex stains or lipstick smudges left behind.
11. Spending Less Time With You
No matter how long couples have been together, they usually have days of the week where they spend time together going out and doing fun things together, commonly known as date night. Couples also plan trips and vacations, which become habitual. If a partner is cheating, they may start to show less of an interest in spending time with you and make excuses as to why they can no longer go on trips or vacations together. The common excuses range from being too tired, having too much work to having a friend or other family emergency that requires their time and attention. They may even encourage you to take trips and vacations by yourself or with others.
12. Changes in Energy Levels
All of those stolen days and hours spent with their lover will take a toll on their energy levels. So, you may start to see your partner too exhausted to do much with you or go out with you anywhere.
13. Property or Car Rentals & Ownership
For couples who have a substantial income, large undisclosed expenses can lead to uncovering secret property and car rentals or ownership. So do a background check by researching public records to find out if new homes, condos or apartments have been co-signed for or rented and purchased in their name. You may discover their romantic getaway or new home for the cheating partner's lover. If you have a second home or vacation place together, then make sure to frequently visit or have trusted friends keep an eye on it to make sure that it is not being used without your knowledge. It's not uncommon for them to buy or lease a new car for their lover too so don't leave that stone unturned.
With the exception of tip number 13, none of these signs by themselves are conclusive evidence of adultery since there could be a reasonable explanation for the changes in behavior, depending on what is going on in their personal or work life, such as a death in the family, depression or other medical problems, financial problems, substance abuse, loss of employment, work instability, or new job which brings new pressures and responsibilities on their plate.
However, if you are able to check off more and more of the signs on the list as behaviors seen in your partner, then the likelihood of infidelity runs high and the red flags are worth looking into. Amp up your detective work by creating your own surveillance to find out the truth once and for all. Some people recommend just confronting your partner but more often than not, very few cheating partners will be honest and admit the affair unless they are confronted with irrefutable and tangible evidence. And, if they are not cheating, it will only anger or hurt them to be accused of it. So, before you make accusations and confront them, I say move forward with your detective work and gather up your evidence first. Investigate further by verifying their stories and plans. Let your partner think you are going out of town but secretly make plans to stay with a friend or family member so you can monitor their whereabouts or activities discreetly.
If through your investigations, you discover that s/he has been sleeping with someone else, you have a choice to make here. Based on the length of the affair and how committed they are to it, either walk away and don't look back or try to salvage the relationship through therapy and open communication. If both people truly want to make the relationship work, then you know you have a real shot at getting through this. Just remember to always listen to your inner voice that is there to guide you in making the right decision.
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Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Preparing Your Car For Extreme Cold-Hot Temperatures
Like any piece of machinery, a car needs an extra amount of maintenance and protection during seasons where the temperature spikes or falls drastically. On such occasions, regularly checking your car for damage and necessary replacements such as car seat covers, windshields, engine oil status, and car floor mats, not only lengthens the service life of your car, but also maintains comfort and cleanliness.
Winter / Extreme Cold
Driving through blizzards, iced roads, and chilly air is way different than driving through the bliss of a summer breeze. While safe driving is imperative all year long, driving during winter requires a lot of precaution and necessary steps to ensure optimum car control, safety and comfort.
Speaking of comfort, changing the interior of a car to suit the cold weather is a must. Ditching those old sets of cotton jeep seat covers and switching to sheepskin car seat covers is one of the best ways to keep warm inside a car while a snowstorm is brewing outside. A great addition to provide some warmth inside a vehicle is a car warmer to complement those thick sheepskin jeep seat covers. Apart from generating heat to the car's interior, car warmers also prevent vehicles from icing up and becoming brittle. Placing thick car floor mats can also help insulate your car and create warmth.
Replacing regular tires with winter tires is also a good option to maintain maneuverability of the vehicle whendriving on snow and ice-covered roads. Winter tires offer better grip and road traction because special treads enable the snow to slide off as the tire rolls.
To keep the car engine in tip-top shape throughout the winter, make sure that you put an antifreeze solution in your radiator every day to keep your engine from frosting. A 50/50 mixture of water and antifreeze solution at full level every single day will keep your engine running and protected from the biting cold. Keeping a daily track of the engine oil and other motor fluids, such as steering and brake fluids, is also a must to ensure the optimum performance of the car and your safety as well.
You must also stock on windshield washer fluid in conjunction to replacing the wiper blades as you need to keep the windshield clean when driving out. Battery state must also be checked frequently because extreme cold strips the battery of its charge. Washing and waxing the car on a regular basis not only gives the car a boost in terms of looks during the winter, but also protects the body, the chassis, and the tires from salt corrosion.
Extreme Heat
When driving though extremely hot regions, such as deserts, or areas affected by heat waves, it is best that you prep your vehicle and yourself for the significant rise in temperature. Unchecked vehicles cruising through a heat wave may end up with blown tires or melted rubber accessories under the hood. Hoses, engine belts, and tires are made of rubber. Under extreme heat, they can easily cause a total breakdown of your vehicle.
Checking the pressure of your tires not only prevents them from blowing up, but allows you to see if they need to be replaced. Worn-out tires are very vulnerable of blowing up under tremendous heat. Aside from tires, checking the engine for clogged air filters, corroded battery posts and the coolant level of your car before heading out to the road or desert trail is pretty much an imperative.
You can leave air-conditioning out in the equation, as it is the one that provides interior cooling. Checking the status of the air-conditioning system's refrigerant is one way to keep the cooling system running smooth.
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Saturday, November 26, 2011
Wine Tasting in Austin, Texas
If you're a fan of wine and live in Austin, Texas there is a lot for you to be happy about. The area is home to two excellent wine bars/restaurants, a unique wine store that offers tasting lessons and a yearly festival that lets locals experience all that wine country has to offer.
First on the list is the Uncorked Tasting room & Wine Bar. It's located at 900 East 7th Street and is open 3 p.m. to midnight on week days and 3 p.m. to 1 a.m. on Saturdays. It is closed on Sundays. They offer a selection of 127 wines from 13 different countries, with something to suit all budgets. If you're in the mood for sampling several different wines at once try the wine flights, which have a separate menu. These orders come with a sample of three different wines all with a card to help you identify which is which. This is a terrific way to become exposed to something new. They offer a full dinner menu with reasonably priced meals.
Vino Vino is another local spot that is passionate about wine. It offers a store, a wine bar and a restaurant. It's located at 4119 Guadalupe Street just north of campus. The retail store is open on Monday through Saturday from 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. and on Sunday from 3 p.m. to 10 p.m. The bar serves guests on Monday through Saturday from 6 p.m. to 12 a.m. and on Sunday from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. The restaurant is open on Sunday through Thursday from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. and on Friday and Saturday from 6 p.m. to 11 p.m. It's a small venue but perfect for getting a glass of your favorite wine and a nice meal. When you shop at the retail store you should know that you can get 15% off two bottles or more so it's a great time to stock up your at home wine cabinet.
For an education in wine, look no further than the Grapevine Market. Located at 7938 Great Northern Boulevard it features Grapevine University, weekend classes on wine tasting of all types. The folks at Grapevine Market love to share their passion for wine and for per class, you'll be able to become passionate about it too. The hour long wine tasting seminars are held on Saturdays and upcoming classes include Central Italy, Burgundy and Champagne and Sparkling Wine.
If traveling from winery to winery is more your speed, don't miss out on the Texas Wine Trails. These special events are self guided tours through Texas Hill Country and includes 24 different wineries. The Texas Wine Month trail lasts all of October. Your ticket to the event entitles you to one to three free tastes of wine. Tickets are per person and per couple. You'll also receive a recipe collection of the top dishes from the wineries once you visit 14 wineries, and you're entered in a Texas Wine Month raffle.
As you can see, when it comes to wine, Austin is the place to be!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Gold - Where To Find Gold, Where Is Gold Found? A Love Story About Gold
Gold Nuggets - The Ultimate Love Affair
It was a barmy scorching hot day somewhere out in the Pacific Ocean, a rather nondescript place where the ocean waves heaved and sighed in their relentless rise and fall. A single particle a tiny droplet of water within the ocean felt itself being drawn upwards towards the ever increasing strong light above, to start on it's course an amazing journey, until now untold, a love affair between the elements, which would result in one very happy individual like you, holding in their hand, one of the most precious gifts known to man and a lifelong cherished memory of good and happy times.
Upon breaking the surface of the ocean, the particle of water felt itself being lifted up and away from the surface which was still heaving below. Along with billions of other similar particles of water, this particle felt itself rising higher and higher until the ocean home it had known for so long was now far, far below.
Swirling on the winds above, the feeling was very much similar to being in the watery deep which so far had been it's only memory, but this was altogether a totally new environment, at least she thought to herself, 'I Am not alone', for there were still billions of other particles of water also it seemed destined for this new and strange journey. What is to become of me the particle of water said to herself as yet another gust of wind carried her higher still.
Before too long, she happened to bump into another particle of water and together they held hands and talked about their individual journeys and how they had got to where they were now, it felt good all of a sudden not to be so alone, so they made a pact to try to bump into as many other friendly looking particles of water, for it felt as though at least, in the safety of numbers, they might at least defy this ever increasing upward lift that they were still experiencing, in the hope that one day, they might just be able to find their way home again, to the ocean which was now way, way below them.
In the very far distance storm clouds were brewing and as the day went by, they were drifting ever closer to their present position, high in the sky. By now their number had swelled to a very good number of them all holding hands together so that they did not lose any one of their fellow particles of water. Suddenly the storm system was upon them and they held hands ever tighter than before, grouping themselves together so that they formed by now a tiny droplet of water.
The storm was now gathering speed, rushing westwards and within several hours they saw land ahead. Some of the other particles of water in the great ocean had told them about this strange substance called land and the stories shared had always been rather fantastic, so although with a little trepidation and trembling they anticipated a great adventure ahead, one which they all knew individually one day they too would be sharing with other particles of water in the ocean, which was now starting to recede as they crossed over onto the land mass itself. The droplet of water all the while had been growing larger and larger in size and they could see now that many other particles of water had had exactly the same idea and were all now gathered together in little clumps bouncing and swirling around on the the swirls and rushes of wind which enveloped them. In fact there was quite the party atmosphere and everyone was immensely enjoying themselves.
On and on they flew over the land crossing first the coastal cities sitting on their rivers, up up and away they continued, the rolling landscape below in all it's shades of color, never had they all experienced something so exciting as this. Up ahead they could now see on the horizon a chain of mighty mountains. Suddenly they realised just how many of them there were in this single droplet of water and how heavy all of a sudden they were. You could certainly see them now with the naked eye and it was getting more and more difficult for them to stay airborne.
Before they knew it, they were right on top of the mountain range, when suddenly without warning a huge clap of noise thundered all around them, making every droplet of water quiver and shiver excitedly, when suddenly, slowly at first and then faster and faster they felt themselves falling towards the landmass far below.
Faster and faster they went, tumbling over and over and every other droplet of water around them was doing the same. Without warning they were right on top of the mountain when Plop! - they connected with it and instantly dissipated in many different directions. All the particles of water were highly surprised by the experience but at least the surface upon which they all now found themselves was wet, so they still had a very good feeling about the journey in front of them. Slowly and surely, they felt themselves still being drawn on downwards. Thankfully they had all landed on a rather friendly looking small tree, on one of it's leaves in fact, so sliding over the surface of the leaf, they approached the edge and again felt themselves falling, only this time, not so far, for the next leaf below them caught them safely where they thereupon repeated this several times, landing at last on the actual surface of the earth, and it actually felt very good. Calling goodbye to the tree and saying thank you for being so kind they now slid across the surface of this 'thing' that they had heard was called the ground, arriving shortly in a small puddle of water, where much to their delight, all the other particles of water with which they had shared their journey so far, were now in, with just the last few particles arriving.
All around it was still raining very heavily and already many other particles of water were far ahead of them down below on the mountainside, grouping themselves once again together in little rivulets and then tiny streams and then bigger streams and further ahead still, even greater torrents of water.
The puddle by now was really getting quite full, so joining together again, the droplet formed it's previous friendship with as many other particles as they could muster and they started to teeter towards the edge of the puddle. With a sudden swoosh they went over the edge to begin the great water roller coaster journey of their lives.
Somewhere below, the first torrents of water were now really gushing at full pelt, stirring up the rocks which too were starting to tumble all around them in the same direction. Such was the force of the water at this point, that some rocks were now becoming dislodged from the bedrock upon which they had been attached to for a very long time, and along with them, one small nugget suddenly felt itself being forced away from it's mother and this rock seemed to glow that much brighter than all the other rocks around it. Down and down further the nugget was forced to go and way above him, another droplet of water was experiencing similar emotions. Some time passed, many hours in fact and eventually the very heavy rain started to ease off, however, on the ground, all was still a very great turmoil, as everyone seemed to have the same purpose, which was to get as far down as possible.
The little gold nugget eventually came to a stop in a somewhat perilous location, caught by a tiny projection of rock. He surveyed the scenery flying past him. Billions of droplets of water rushing past, now and again lifting him slightly, before his weight conquered the force and he settled backwards again into his resting place. The water was getting stronger all the time though and he knew that eventually he would be lifted out again and most likely would continue his onward journey to the valley below.
A roaring noise assailed him just a few minutes later from further up the mountainside. Lo and behold it was the droplet of water now rushing downwards with an even mightier force of similar droplets, when suddenly the two came face to face for the very first time. Bang! 'Oh hello', said the droplet diving underneath the nugget of gold, and with another sudden whoosh, the gold nugget felt itself finally lifted up, over the edge of the little projection of rock which hither-to-fore had been holding him back and together they bounced and swirled downwards, finally reaching the valley floor. The gold nugget was ever so thankful to the droplet of water for depositing him in such a quiet and peaceful looking spot and he settled back into his new home, resting place. Checking that he was ok, the droplet swirled around in the eddy a few times, each time passing by the gold nugget and calling out, checking to see that all was well. On the final go around, they called out to each other and bade their goodbye's as the droplet joined the river which was now moving more slowly downstream
Meanwhile somewhere far away, another beautiful event was unfolding. A handsome young man was down on one knee and saying something to a gorgeous looking lady.
On and on the droplet of water journeyed, until eventually after the passage of quite some time, it felt itself tasting salt again and knew instantly that by now it must be very close to the ocean once more.
The nugget of gold was pleasantly pleased with his new surroundings too, the sunlight sparkled like a million diamonds above him and all around him were similar little tiny nuggets of gold just like him. The weeks passed into months, the seasons changed, the water level rose once more for a few months until once again, they dropped and their was a faint discernible difference in the temperture of the water. It was spring and then summer all over again.
Bouncing along the track in his four wheel drive meanwhile, a young handsome man was behind the wheel on one of his many expeditions into this part of the county to prospect for gold. He had already enjoyed quite a few successful seasons and was hoping that today too, he could turn up a decent yield of gold for the surprise gift he was hoping to give to his girlfriend, to whom he was now engaged. Upon arriving in a beautiful and serene very peaceful spot, he turned off the track, parked up and started to pull out his gold prospecting equipment.
He was pleased that by now, with several seasons experience behind him, that he had a few, very good lightweight tools that he knew would help him in his search for gold. He had a plan up his sleeve too, the gold that he found today, was to go with other gold that he had found on previous gold prospecting trips, and via a jeweler craftsman friend of a friend, he was going to have this made into a very beautiful wedding ring, with which to marry his girlfriend. She would see it for the very first time on the actual wedding day. Without further ado, he set to work, setting up the equipment and started the enjoyable experience of looking for gold using his sluice and panning equipment.
As the day was drawing to a close, he thought he would try just one more spot about fifty feet away from where he was presently toiling away.
The nugget of gold saw the shadow first above the surface of the water getting closer and closer and once again a warm glowing feeling came over him as he sensed with a degree of excitement that the next finger of his journey was about to begin.
This young man moved closer with something in his hand, a long tubular device. Suddenly this was right on top of the nugget of gold and with great surprise he felt himself being sucked up out of his lovely resting place and together with other silt and tiny stones and sludge, being conveyed towards the bank, whereupon he was put through several processes which involved being swirled around in a pan. After a very short while, there was less water in the pan than before and then suddenly with a whoop of joy, the man saw for the very first time the little nugget of gold, knowing instantly that he now had enough for his gold ring. Hooray! he thought, talking to himself about how he would have the ring designed.
So this is what is to become of me the gold nugget said to himself, I am to become a gold wedding ring, well, what finer privilege could I have than to help this kind man share his love with the lady of his dreams. What a beautiful item I am to become a part of and to think, everyone will admire me for so many years to come, what could be a more beautiful destiny?
The months passed by, the seasons came and went, the years rolled along and the gold nugget was very happy. He loved his new home, he loved what he stood for, he loved the fact that he was part of a symbol of eternal love and affection between two such very special people. Years rolled into decades and everything was very good.
As if it was yesterday, the couple walked along by the shore of the ocean, still holding hands, arms gently swinging, talking about their life so far together. Still very much in love, it was their golden wedding anniversary. Fingers joined, entwined together in love the little gold nugget could not be happier. The sun was warm and everything felt so very good. Laughingly the couple kicked off their sandals and walked together, the waves now and again rushing up to greet their toes scrunching into the soft golden sands. They embraced, her hand caressing his warm facial features, the gold ring glistened in the sun, a small wave crashed at their feet as they kissed and a tiny droplet of water flew upwards through the air and landed on her third finger onto her gold wedding ring. Everything had come around once again, full circle.
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Saturday, November 19, 2011
Save Gas This Summer - "Staycation" in Boston!
Gas has gotten more and more expensive over this past year. I'm sure that we can all remember, even 6 months ago, our horror at the possibility of a gallon of gas hitting .00. As prices stand today, the average is currently .00 here on the East Coast and there is no end in sight. For those of us who love taking summer vacations with our friends, family, and loved ones, this is a depressing thought. It's impacting not only the price of filling up our own personal gas tanks, but also the price of airfare, cruises, and all other forms of transportation to get us out of town on our vacations.
However, there is no need to worry! Here in Boston, we live in a world-class city, and in all of our travels around the country and world, we have really taken that fact for granted. Mayor Menino himself feels our pain and has created a campaign called "Visit the Pin" and he has chosen 10 attractions around the city at which to place giant, 12-foot, red "push pins". The pins have been created to grab our attention and alert us to all the wonderful attractions that Boston has to offer. However, while the places he has chosen are pretty great, they are also very touristy and if you have lived here for a while, you have probably already been to them - maybe even several times.
I have created a list of some of the great, under appreciated spots in Boston that you should visit for the first time, or visit again! I've organized them into 10 can't-miss "day" trips. This list is chock-full of ideas. You may find that each "day" trip contains more than you would be able to accomplish in one day, so you might have to choose the attraction(s) that appeal most to you. Be sure to visit the websites for each of the suggestions for more information. I have tried to choose cost-effective suggestions so that your week off won't break the bank. All you need is your T pass (and not an ounce of gasoline) for a wonderful "Staycation" week in Boston!
1. Day Trip #1: Fine Arts and Culture
If you live here, you have probably spent time at the Museum of Fine Arts and Symphony Hall at some point, but there are MANY other ways to explore arts and culture in Boston. Stop by two or three of these lesser known spots for a very enriching day! I would suggest an art museum or two in the morning and afternoon and a performance in the evening. You could even head over to the waterfront to have lunch at the Channel Cafe (food and drink/art gallery). Be sure to click below and visit the various websites ahead of time for hours, special show and exhibit info.
* Take in some art at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum
* Visit the new Institute of Contemporary Art now on the waterfront
* Get tickets to a show at or take a tour of the newly restored Boston Opera House
* See a show at Emerson College's Cutler Majestic Theater...
* ... or at Harvard's American Repertory Theater
* ... or at Boston University's Huntington Theater
* ... or at the exciting Boston Center for the Arts
* Watch some Shakespeare on the Common presented by Commonwealth Shakespeare Company
* Catch some amazing music at the Berkelee Berformance Center
* Support music of the 20th century through the Boston Modern Orchestra Project
2. Day Trip #2: Sports Appreciation
It seems that Boston is the center of the sports universe at the moment - the Red Sox moved into the All-Star break in first place after winning two World Championships in the past 4 years. The Patriots had an undefeated regular season this year after winning the Super Bowl in '01, '03, and '04. This year, the Celtics won the NBA Finals in dramatic fashion. Even the Bruins and the Revolution made great showings in the playoffs. When thinking about what to see in Boston, sports appreciation is at the top of the list! While watching a major sports game might be out of your price range, there are countless ways to appreciate sports in this city. Check out a few of these options:
* Take a tour of historic Fenway Park and check out the famous Citgo Sign
* Run the Boston Marathon (or at least up Heartbreak Hill!)
* Visit the Sports Museum (in the TD Banknorth Garden)
* Attend a game at BC, BU or Northeastern (some are easier to get tickets to than others!)
* Visit the site at Northeastern that was once Huntington Avenue Grounds (original Red Sox home)
* Stop by the historic Boston Braves Field (Now BU's Nickerson Field)
* Catch a horse race at Suffolk Downs
* Visit Harvard Stadium
* Watch a Boston Lobsters Tennis Match
* Visit the Science Museum's current Exhibit: "Baseball as America"
I would suggest lunch/dinner at the Sports Depot, Game On, The Fours, or Boston Beer Works for the full Boston sports experience!
3. Day Trip #3: City of Learning
Above all else, when people think about Boston, they think of the rich academic culture that our city embodies. Boston has more colleges per square mile than any other city in the world. Naturally, we are a city that is overflowing with learning opportunities. Why not spend some time appreciating those opportunities? Here are some wonderful ways you can spend the day learning in Boston. Break for lunch at Novel, the Boston Public Library restaurant!
* Visit the historic and beautiful Boston Public Library
* Stop by the Boston Anthenaeum
* Take a free walking tour of Harvard University or MIT
* Spend an afternoon in one of many used book stores in Boston or Cambridge
* Take a class at the Boston Center for Adult Education
* Learn about how beer is made! Take a tour of the Samuel Adams Brewery
* Visit the Mary Baker Eddy Library and it's famous Mappariam
After your intense day of learning, you'll need to kick back - stop by the Thirsty Scholar Pub for some dinner and a drink and give your brain a break!
4. Day Trip #4: History
It can easily be argued that there is really no city in the United States that is more historically significant than Boston. The city wears this identity well while still looking toward the future, mixing centuries-old beautiful buildings with modern towering skyscrapers. If you work downtown, unless you walk slowly and read the signs you pass each day (and who does that around here?) you may not realize the significance of the buildings around you. I'm sure that if you grew up around here, you have walked the Freedom Trail once or twice, but there may be more obscure historical landmarks that you have never even noticed! Take a day to walk around a little more slowly, visit some of these interesting landmarks, and look up once in a while! While you are at it, stop by Boston's oldest restaurant, the Union Oyster House, for dinner.
* Learn about the lives of a well-to-do family in historic Boston at the Gibson House Museum
* Visit the headquarters of Historic New England at the Otis House Museum
* Pay your respects to our forefathers and foremothers at Granary Burying Ground and King's Chapel Burying Ground
* Visit the Museum of African American History and take the Black Heritage Trail
* Talk a walk along the Boston Women's Heritage Trail
* Tour the historically and architecturally significant Trinity Church
5. Day Trip #5: Island Hopping
If you are anything like me, you have never taken full advantage of the fact that we have an amazing National Park right off the coast of Boston. The park is comprised of 34 small islands (11 of which are open to the public) just minutes away by boat. The islands vary as far as what you can do on each of them, so use this list as a guide to get you started. The National Park Service recommends picking no more than two islands to visit in one day, so take a look and choose one or two that look interesting to you. Concession stands are available at Georges and Spectacle Islands, but why not bring a picnic lunch for your visit to the islands! It's a perfect excuse for a picnic!
* Camp overnight on Grape, Bumpkin or Lovells Island - Permits are required
* Visit Lovells Island for the day for trails that pass by dunes and woods, picnic areas, an unsupervised swimming beach, and the remains of Fort Standish
* Visit and explore Deer Island and learn about its fascinating history
* Visit popular Georges Island, the transportation hub for the system of islands, its open fields, paved walkways and gravel beach - be sure to tour historic Fort Warren while you are there
* Check out Little Brewster, home of Boston Light, the country's oldest continuously running light house
* Experience a wide range of natural beauty and check out historic Fort Andrews at Peddocks Island
* Visit Spectacle Island, which features a marina, visitor center, cafe, a life-guarded swimming beach, and five miles of walking trails that lead to the crest of a 157 foot-high hill, offering panoramic views of the harbor and the city
* Take a tour and enjoy nature at Thompson Island, which is a particularly good choice if you have a large group (like a company or school)
* Picnic, fish and enjoy walking trails at Webb Memorial State Park
* Enjoy Hingham Bay, rocky beaches, ledges, cliffs, patches of salt marsh and an area of freshwater marsh at Worlds End Reservation
6. Day Trip #6: Beach Bum
If the only great vacation you can imagine is one in which you are lying on a beach for at least a day, there are many great options for you around here! You might assume that you have to drive down to the Cape or up to the North Shore for great beach experiences, and if so, you will be pleasantly surprised by the following recommendations. There are several great options easily reachable in or very near the city by subway or bus. A day at the beach requires beach food, in my opinion, and so I suggest a stop at Sullivan's at Castle Island or Kelly's Roast Beef in Revere. I've also suggested a few options that are outside the city, but easily accessible from the commuter rail, if you really want to get out of the city for the day.
* Take the Blue Line to America's First Public Beach, Revere Beach
* Throw on your swim suit and take advantage of The Boston Harborwalk
* Take the Red Line to JFK and visit Carson Beach, L & M Street Beaches, Pleasure Bay and Castle Island, which are all connected
* Take the Commuter Rail north to Ipswich Station, then board the Ipswich-Essex Explorer Shuttle to Crane Beach
* Take the Commuter Rail north to Manchester-by-the-Sea and walk a short way to Singing Beach
* Take the Amtrak Downeaster to Old Orchard Beach in Maine
7. Day Trip #7: Appreciation of Unusual Things
If you are someone who enjoys exploring the unique and unusual aspects of a vacation destination, you have plenty of options to appreciate the quirky - right here in Boston! As you are exploring a few of the following unusual spots in Boston, a couple of well loved, but certainly unique, Boston restaurants worth your time during this day would be Fire & Ice Improvisational Grill for a fun, interactive experience and the Beehive, for some great food, atmosphere and live jazz.
* Visit America's oldest car collection at the Larz Anderson Auto Museum
* Learn history from a unusual perspective on New England Ghost Tour!
* Experience Boston's most interactive entertainment at Tomb by 5Witz
* Appreciate some art that's too bad to be ignored! Visit the Museum of Bad Art
* Explore invention, ideas and innovation (including holograms!) at the MIT Museum
* Visit the Harvard Bridge and count how many Smoots long it is!
* Take a Duck Tour (come on... you know you want to!)
* Visit the spots where your favorite movies were filmed on one of the Boston Movie Tours
* Discover the secrets of Boston through an Urban Interactive sight-seeing adventure
* Find out what is so special about the Scarlett O'Hara House
8. Day Trip #8: Nature
If you are stuck in Boston, but prefer a more serene, natural vacation, there are many options for you, even within the city limits! There are many opportunities in the city that will allow you to spend time appreciating the nature around you. I recommend exploring some of the following recommendations. If you want a fully natural day, take a break and visit Grezzo Restaurant for lunch, Boston's 100% organic, raw food restaurant.
* Take a ride on the Swan Boats while visiting the Boston Public Garden
* Hang out with the animals at the Franklin Park Zoo in the heart of Franklin Park
* Visit Arnold Arboretum, the oldest public arboretum in North America and one of the world's leading centers for the study of plants
* Spend some time at the Harvard Museum of Natural History (especially great if your "nature" themed day turns out to be a rainy one!)
* Go for a peaceful and quiet run in the Fens nature trails
* Visit the Boston Nature Center and Wildlife Sanctuary
* Find a Boston area State Park near you for everything from hiking to mountain biking
* See "Day Trip #5" (Above) for info about the Boston Harbor Islands - spend a while at one!
9. Day Trip #9: On the Water
We are so lucky to be living right on the water here in Boston. As I mentioned above, this opens up many possibilities as far as enjoying wonderful beach days, as well as visiting the Boston Harbor Islands right off the coast. However, a huge benefit to having so much water nearby is the opportunity to get out on it for the day. Whether you are an accomplished sailor or have never stepped food in a boat, there are options here for you. Read through this list and choose an adventure or two just for you! During the day or evening, if you are hungry, stop by Tia's On the Waterfront for a bite, a drink and a chance to enjoy the view of the water!
* Contact Community Boating, Inc. to find out how you can learn to sail - Use your vacation day to get started on the Charles River
* For a relatively inexpensive chance to spend time in a boat on the water, take an Inner Harbor Ferry or Commuter Boat or the Rowes Wharf Water Taxi
* Take a sunset or sightseeing cruise through the Charles Riverboat Company
* Take a Boston Light Tour and experience first-hand the oldest lighthouse site in the U.S.
* Join in on a sail aboard the 125' Schooner Liberty Clipper
* If you can't bear to actually get out on the water, you can enjoy WBZ's Free Friday Flicks at the Hatch Shell - enjoy the breeze of the Charles from safely ashore, and watch a movie under the stars!
10. Day Trip #10: Festivals
Summer in Boston always reminds me of all the neighborhood parties and celebrations in the city. Every weekend throughout the summer, there is at least one festival somewhere in the city that is an excuse to enjoy Boston and its cultural diversity. A day at any of these festivals would be worth building into your "staycation" week schedule. I don't need to recommend a restaurant for you, since the mark of a great festival is the amazing food it serves. Enjoy!
* Choose a weekend this summer and stop by the North End for the North End Festivals of Saints
* Stop by Government Center on August 2 from 4:00-8:00 for the Peace Hip Hop Festival
* Spend August 17 in Chinatown for the August Moon Festival
* Head to Dorchester on August 23rd for the Caribbean Carnival Parade & Festival
* Show off and add to your ink from September 12-14 at the Boston Tatoo Convention
* Settle in from September 12-18 for the Boston Film Festival
I hope that you enjoy all my suggestions and that they inspire you to rediscover our great city in these times of high gas prices! These are also great suggestions for you if you are visiting Boston from out of town. If you are stuck in another city, and these suggestions sound fun to you, look for similar ideas near your home. I bet you will be surprised by what you will find!
Please respond and let me know what you love to do when you are spending time in Boston - I am very interested to hear!
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Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Part 3 - Anne of the Island by Lucy Maud Montgomery (Chs 24-41)
Part 3. Classic Literature VideoBook with synchronized text, interactive transcript, and closed captions in multiple languages. Audio courtesy of Librivox. Read by Karen Savage. Playlist for Anne of the Island by Lucy Maud Montgomery: www.youtube.com
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